How many parents spend their entire lives doing one thing—desperately trying to fix their children—without ever realizing that what really needs fixing is themselves. You complain that your child is slow, but it’s actually your inability to tolerate losing control. You push your child to excel, but it’s actually your own fear of falling behind. All of a child’s problems are unresolved issues of the parents. Parents should understand these six things: 1. Your child is your mirror. The temper you can’t suppress and the anxiety you can’t hide will reappear in your child. It’s not your child who needs to change—it’s you who needs to grow. 2. Parent and child are allies, not opponents. Every tantrum, every act of rebellion is a wake-up call to the immature parts of your own heart. You are teammates growing together. 3. Love is about enabling, not reshaping. True love allows them to be themselves. You can guide, but you cannot control. 4. Set rules, lend your sense of control to your child, and keep boundaries and responsibility for yourself. Drop the comparisons, give fewer commands, and discuss more. Only then will love have room to breathe. 5. Your child is here to guide you. Every moment that breaks you is an opportunity to transcend your own limitations. Parenting is a practice, and your child is your guide. 6. Your child is a gift, not a burden. Their existence lets you rediscover what it means to be needed and trusted—the most primal blessing of life.

Also, tell your child these six things: 1. Grades are not your life; they’re much smaller than a single test paper. 2. Criticism doesn’t mean you’re wrong; it’s just someone else’s opinion. 3. Obedience isn’t a virtue; independent thinking is. 4. In relationships, observe more, learn more, and please less. 5. Success has no standard answer; health and happiness are success. 6. Other people’s bad moods aren’t your fault; you’re only responsible for kindness. None of us were ready to be parents. We all learned understanding through stumbling and learned softness when we were at a loss. Precisely because parenting is so difficult, all parents are on the same path of cultivation.